On Conflict

Let me really honest here: I do not like conflict. Not at all. I would rather just pretend everything is okay than deal with any issues in any of my relationships.

What usually happens when Josh and I disagree is that I just give in and let it go, because that is easier to me than dealing with a disagreement. And if that doesn't solve the problem, then I get upset and cry and go to bed.

Yeah. Not the healthiest strategy.

Fortunately for Josh and I, we have been growing through Chip Ingram's "Experiencing God's Dream for Your Marriage" with another couple from our church. We are almost through the study and have learned some really great things about what marriage is designed to look like, intimacy, and communication. But I'll admit, when I found out last night's topic was "Conflict Resolution: How to Fight Fair", I got a little squirmy.  I don't even like to talk about conflict. Ugh.

I am so glad we did, though. We discussed some ground rules for fighting fair and why we each react to conflict differently.

What stood out for me more than anything else is that conflict is normal. I guess this might be a "duh" moment for a lot of people, but it really resonated with me. Conflict is normal, it is healthy, and it is a necessary part of marriage.

Chip gave the example of Paul and Barnabas in the Bible. We don't know all the juicy details, but basically, these two amazing missionaries parted ways because they couldn't agree on what to do with John Mark. Two of the Godliest guys in history had conflict. In the end, their conflict actually allowed them to spread the Gospel to more places individually than if they had gone together.

This isn't the first time I've heard "conflict is healthy" but it was the first time I really was able to see the truth in that statement. I'm hoping that this revelation will help lessen my dislike for conflict, and help me learn to deal with it constructively.

What about ya'll? Do you do conflict well, or does it scare the heck out of you too? I'm planning another post on Ground Rule for Fighting Fair, so I'd love suggestions!

Just For Fun!

I'm linking up with Crys @ A Life in Ordinary for this fun questionnaire! This is so much more entertaining than putting away laundry and vacuuming (which is what I should be doing). 

 

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments. What do you pick?

Produce: Fresh Broccoli to roast

Bakery: Seeded Rye Bread

Meat: Whatever's on sale :)

Frozen Foods: spinach

Dairy: Fat Free Half & Half

 

Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what's in your bag?

Ugh. Three? I'd pack a dress, a nice shirt, and jeans. And we better be going somewhere I can do some shopping!

If I was to listen in on your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?

• "Seriously?"
• "Thank you for calling *** Early Learning, this is Jennifer..."
• "Walking feet! Inside voices!"
• "Riley! June! SIT!"
• "What do we have coupons for?"

What three things do you find yourself doing every single day? What things would put you in a bad mood if you didn’t get to do them?

• I need one cup of coffee. Just one. I am not a happy camper without it. I don't think it's the caffeine, because I can drink decaff and be happy--it's just the routine.
• Walking the dogs. I like having a decent amount of time to take them for a walk in the evening, both for their benefit and mine. If it's raining or I don't have enough time, I get frustrated.
• Reading or playing iPhone games before bed. Just 15 minutes of zone-out time.

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If you had a three hour block where no one was around, what 5 things might we find you doing?

1. Reading
2. Browsing Pinterest (and wishing I remembered to make things I pin!)
3. Taking a nap
4. Reading blogs or updating mine
5. Deep cleaning or balancing the checkbook (things I prefer to do without Josh around--I don't know why!)

You are headed to the zoo, but it looks like it might start raining. What three exhibits do you rush to see first?

Rush? You don't rush at the zoo! I love the elephants and the giraffes though. They always remind me how creative God is!

 
What four (live) television shows do you wish would gift you free tickets?

1. Anderson (I just think he's cute)
2. Can I go back in time and say Oprah? I just want the free stuff she always gave out.
3. Stephen Colbert. He's funny.
4. Nate Berkus? That's honestly the only other talk show I can think of!

If someone offered to buy you a triple dipper ice cream cone, what three flavors would you choose?

Mint chocolate chip, and mint chocolate chip, and mint chocolate chip. I do like other flavors but I don't like mixing them!

Imagine you lost your purse at a retail store. When you go to pick it up, the cashier asks you to name five things that are inside it to prove it is yours. What do you say?

1. Blue & Green zipper pouch with a variety of meds/cosmetics.
2. Leather envelope overflowing with coupons.
3. Pink coin purse with random gift cards.
4. A stack of mail/bills with a binder clip.
5. A ridiculous amount of pens & lip glosses that always get lost at the bottom.
   

Imagine you are at a job fair. You’re asked what careers you would like to pursue. Assuming you had the talents for said careers, how would you respond? (List four.)

1. Teacher 
2. Author
3. Zoologist
4. Professional blogger/scrapbooker/mom.

If you could speak with your 16 year old self, what four things would you say?

1.  Go to school! Why do you keep skipping?

2.  Deal with your issues now. They will only get more difficult the longer you ignore them.

3. God has a perfect plan, and his timing is perfect. Quit trying to rush things and just trust.

4. Stop spending all your money and put some in savings. Don't ever get a credit card, ever. Be smart!

Secret Ingredient Meatloaf

I know there are some people who don't like meatloaf--but I don't understand those people! I personally love meatloaf, and I know Josh does too. It's a relatively quick and easy meal to make, and since I use ground turkey most of the time, it's not too unhealthy.

My problem was that I never had a recipe, so I just mixed ingredients until the consistency seemed right. I used eggs, breadcrumbs, Worcestershire sauce, and spices. It always tasted good, but often it came out crumbly or too dense. And then someone shared this meatloaf recipe with me, and my life was changed!

Are you dying to know what the secret ingredient is?

Stuffing mix! Here's the magical recipe:

• 1 Pound Ground Meat (Beef or Turkey)
• 1 Egg
• 1 Box Stuffing Mix
• 1 Cup Water

Mix everything together, smoosh it into a loaf pan, and bake at 350 for about 45 minutes.

I have made this a couple of times now, and it turns out perfect every time. I love that it doesn't require guesswork! The consistency is always perfect, and thanks to the spices in the stuffing mix, it tastes delicious. We had this last night with roasted broccoli and corn on the cob, and it was perfect!

Hooray for Friday!

ONE: My friend Lindsey and I are going to see the Hunger Games tomorrow morning. We were going Sunday but we had to reschedule it to sooner because we can't wait! I have heard the movie is amazing, and I'm so excited to see it. Though I am pretty sure it is just going to make me more indecisive between Peeta & Gale. (I haven't read Mockingjay yet).

Source: Uploaded by user via Lydia on Pinterest

TWO: It looks like we will be spending a week in Maine this summer! My aunt's family owns a house on Old Orchard Beach, and my mom's side of the family has been spending a week there every summer for the past 15 years. We haven't gone since 2009 but I think we going to be able to swing it this year, and I'm already counting down the days!

THREE: I got the book in the mail today! I am so excited to read it. Josh thinks it's funny how excited I am but I think he's secretly very excited too.


FOUR: We are still doing our weekly marriage study at our friends' house. We are watching the video series God's Dream for Your Marriage. It has been such a blessing for us to have friends whose marriage we can learn from, and to have them be willing to mentor us. It remains one of my favorite nights of the week and I can honestly say it has been really beneficial to our marriage!

FIVE: Josh got off work a little early this evening, so we went to dinner. Now I have brownies in the oven and we are getting ready to watch Contagion. Great way to kick off the weekend!

Happy Friday, everyone! Enjoy your weekend!

Midweek Confessions: Happy Spring!

*I get disproportionately excited when I save money at the grocery store. I just bought $22 worth of meat for $11 (thanks to looming expiration dates) and I have never felt so proud.

*Best news I got this week? 7-11 is returning to Jacksonville! Other gas stations have Icee's, but Slurpee's reign supreme. It's gonna be a good summer!

*Please tell me I am not the only one addicted to Draw Something. Seriously--that game has taken priority over everything else. I'm a horrible artist but it just cracks me up!!

*I am going to see The Hunger Games movie on Sunday with some friends. I'm seriously excited, but also nervous--I have read the first two books so I know what happens, and I know it will be hard for me to watch! I finished Catching Fire last week and am taking a break. Not because I'm not addicted, but because it's so intense. I needed to breathe.

*Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed by this blogging world. I love writing, and I love getting comments, but there's still a million things I'm clueless about. Sponsors and buttons and giveaways and guestposts? Oh my. Anyone want to give me a crash course?

That wraps up this week's confessions! If you haven't already, you should head on over to E, Myself & I to read more!

What I've Been Up To

It has been a crazy few weeks, but I am back! I made it! Let me tell you--I have missed this space. There is something about writing that grounds me, even when it's silly little posts about ballet flats.

So here's what I've been up to recently, in case you were just dying to know.

I went to Savannah with my aunt and cousin for a gymnastics meet. My cousin is a competitive gymnast, and it was so cool to watch her compete! She placed second all around, and I was so proud. I used to babysit her when she was tiny, and now look at her all grown up:

She is gorgeous! The day after her meet, we took ourselves on a walking tour of downtown Savannah. The weather was perfect, and I love Savannah's culture and old Southern charm.

The day after I got back from Savannah, I headed to my bosses house to play 'mommy' for a few days to these munchkins.

Good thing they are cute, because a 20-month-old and a four-year-old are a lot of work! I wasn't prepared for how exhausted I'd be at the end of three days. They were really good for me, though, and seriously--how can you not love this girl?

 Finally, this weekend my mom came to visit and we had such a great time! Friday we explored Amelia Island & Fernandina Beach--which is beautiful! It was a perfect day for shopping and walking on the beach.

I look a lot like my dad and his side of the family, but looking at us here, I have the same smile as my mom! Good thing too, because she is beautiful. Saturday we did a little more shopping, and then cooked a traditional Irish dinner to celebrate St. Paddy's Day:

Mmmmm, corned beef and cabbage! One of my favorites. Delicious! It was so nice to have my mom here for a few days and to spend some time with her.

So that's what I've been up to. Doesn't seem like that much now, but combined with 40 hour work weeks, a job hunt, and some other randomness--I feel like I haven't stopped!

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

The amazing Kristen at We Are That Family hosted a giveaway the other day, and she offered something I really wanted:

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire

Yes, please. This is the first blog giveaway I have ever won (I only enter the ones I really want to win) and I am SO excited! I can't wait to get my hands on this book--Kristen's review made it sound amazing. I'm thinking my husband will probably appreciate it too!

Here is me looking appropriately excited about winning: (and wearing glasses since I had a little run-in with pink eye this weekend)