I confess...

Oh, man. I confess: I have been a bad blogger. I had every intention of posting this weekend, but here it is Wednesday and I'm just now getting around to it.

I confess that I do. not. like. to be busy. I am such an introvert, and I really like my time to myself. I love my husband dearly, but I have come to appreciate that I have a few hours to myself before he gets home from work. I also really like sleep. This week I have had a lot to do, which has led to late nights and early mornings and not so much quiet time, and not much of an end in site. All the things on my schedule are good things though, so I can't complain too much :)

I confess that after weeks of applying for jobs and thinking there was no hope, I have had three phone calls this week! Two phone interviews and one in person interview. Nothing solid--but there is hope. Hallelujah.

I confess that with the way my schedule looks for the next week or so, you probably won't hear much from me. I promise I have lots of good stuff planned when I get a second to catch up!

Midweek Confessions: Better Late Than Never!

 Happy Midweek!

 

• I am really stressing out over a situation at work that may leave me without a job. I am trying to trust that God has a plan and has control...but it's oh so hard. I am so frustrated! I have been listening to this song (and reading the psalm it's based on) and it has been helping.

• I made banana pudding for the Super Bowl. Confession: I don't like bananas. I just like the "pudding" part (which is why I make Paula Deen's Chessman Cookie version--no banana flavored pudding!)
• Nothing annoys me more than when I am somewhere with nothing to do and can't catch up on my Words with Friends games because I don't have a good signal. Ugh! I feel like I'm wasting precious time not playing!
• I have two shameless plugs!
• One: One of my favorite blogs, Marriage Confessions, has been nominated for two Bloggie Awards. Go check out their blog and vote for them!
• Two: If you live in the Northeast Florida area, please check out my husband's website and keep him in mind if you ever need a home inspector! He is fantastic (and I'm not all that biased.)
• I am posting this Thursday because I started it last night and then Josh and I got into a fight passionate discussion about my job and how I'm handling the stress. We both handle stress so differently and sometimes have a hard time seeing the other person's point of view.

Enjoy the rest of your week! 

Today was Definitely a Monday

This morning, at a ridiculously early hour, I dropped my beloved iPhone in the toilet.

I know, I know. I knew better than that.

Really, I was only trying to put my contacts in. I had just gotten out of bed, and went to put my contacts in so I could make a pot of coffee. I wasn't even going to the bathroom. So don't even ask my five-thirty-on-a-Monday-morning brain how exactly the phone got in the toilet. I haven't the slightest idea.

Here's what I know. The internet is filled with stories of water logged iPhones being resuscitated by drying out in a bag of rice. It worked for my friend Lindsey just last week (and yes, I wish I had learned from her mistake!) My superhero dad is also sending me a magical bag that is supposed to dry out wet cell phones. So, I'm holding on to hope that my sweet iPhone will be saved.

In the meantime, I feel horribly wonderfully weirdly disconnected. I keep unconsciously reaching for my phone to check the time, check my email, text my husband, play a quick game of Scramble with Friends... it's unbelievable how much I have to come to rely on that thing. Even as I was making dinner this evening, I kept have minor panic attacks of where-is-my-phone-I-think-I-just-heard-it-vibrate-maybe-I-have-a-new-alert-on-Facebook.

Maybe this is a good thing. (Maybe I'm just trying to prepare myself for the chance that it isn't saved by the rice and the magic bag). When I got home from work, I miraculously cleaned the bathroom--something I usually save for a day off--instead of playing a few hundred rounds of Temple Run.

While I'm open to the idea that being disconnected isn't so terribly terrible, and maybe God is showing me something here, I'd still appreciate you sending warm, dry thoughts in the direction of my phone!

Learning to Wait

I think one of the most frustrating things is when I can’t fix things for Josh. Right now, he’s outside in the miserable Florida heat trying to repair the gas tank on his truck. I want to be able to help. But the limits of what I can do stops some where around ice water & ham sandwiches. I see him sweating and being frustrated and I want to fix it for him. Unfortunately my knowledge of car repair ranks right up there with my knowledge of brain surgery. Zip.

One of the things I’ve learned the most over the past few months is that I can’t always fix it. There are times I don’t have the solution, the expertise, the strength or the ability to fix things. As much as I want to do whatever it takes so that he’s not stressed out, it’s not always possible.

The same thing applies to our relationship. When we fight, or disagree, I want to make up immediately. I want to yell and scream for five minutes, get it out of my system, and then be done and hug and kiss and be all lovey dovey again. Not Josh. He needs more time to recuperate. When he’s angry or frustrated, it takes longer for him to come around than it takes me. He doesn’t want to talk or hug or cuddle. He wants to be left alone. It took me a long time to be okay with that, and I still have to work at it. It makes me sad and uncomfortable when I feel like he’s still angry, and I want the problem to go away immediately. I want to fix it. But he really just needs time. I’m learning that if I give him space, and don’t push him to be ready to make up as soon as I am, he eventually comes around and apologizes and all is right with the world.

I have to keep learning that I don’t have the answers to all the world’s problems, and not even to all of our problems. Sometimes it just takes time.